Courting Miss Yamanaka
by Dark Hope Assassin
Summary: Ch04:It was her birthday and it was supposed to be PERFECT, and so far was anything but. No one had time for her, everyone had better things to do… Well, at least she still had Naruto. But that thought made her feel a bit too comfortable for comfort…pt 1
1. 1st Kiss: Ill Conceived Holiday…

_First Kiss: Ill-Conceived Holiday Misconducts_

* * *

The blonde haired duo simultaneously heaved a great sigh, faces drawn into the perfect visions of dejection embodied. This was definitely _not_ what Valentine's Day was supposed to be like… 

When Naruto had asked Sakura out to lunch it was so they could have an early start to their wonderful day of celebrating their late-blooming (but finally palpably existent! At least according to the blonde shinobi…) love. How could he have foreseen that Ino and Sai would have opted for the same restaurant for their own romantic relapse?

It went without mentioning that the Hokage-would-be was petrified by the sheer notion that his taste coincided with Ino's when it came to romantic resorts because that kind of similarity was just plain creepy. Even though he no longer held any silly grudges for the girl as he did back in the day.

There was also hardly any chance he would've predicted that, once Sakura saw the other couple, she'd make the current team Seven and Ino put their heads together to come up with a good plan for Group Kakashi's next mission together because their leader hardly gave the most important stuff—like planning ahead, as Sakura referred to it—any thought at all, choosing to let his subordinates fare for themselves instead.

And so, after a brief period of complaining, whining and general disagreeableness from the two blondes, the four of them were huddled together over a stack of napkins with plans. Well, Sakura was huddled, at least, chattering away enthusiastically about formations and tactics that no one seemed to care enough about to listen raptly; Sai was being Sai, listlessly staring at the pink-haired medic and her excited instructions, probably unsure whether he should say something and risk offending her and landing himself in hospital for more than a week over it or just to remain blissfully uncaring and unfeeling of everything that happened around him.

Needless to say, he settled for the second, as he always did.

Naruto and Ino, on the other hand, were not into what was happening at all. They sulked and nudged their romantic partners but no good came out of it—Sakura wouldn't even listen before waving him off and Sai wasn't exactly the kind of guy who would be very invigorated about a day devoted solely to the celebration of any type of emotion, least of all that of affection.

Having raised the white flag, the previously boisterous boy had slumped, his head resting on the wooden table the four of them were sitting around, his confidence tinier than an ant, while his fellow blonde was fuming. Regardless of their difference in attitude, they were sharing the same thoughts—they hated to be ignored and they were longing to just shout atop their lungs at their significant others, '_Look over here, I'm right here, damn it! Why can't you see me?! Look right over here to prove me I'm not invisible or all the same to you!_'

And _that_ was a depressing line of thought and Yamanaka Ino did _not_ like to get depressed. It made her frown and frowning brought wrinkles to her pretty and _smooth _forehead and that was just not right because wrinkles were for old hags, not for a beauty extraordinaire in the zenith of their splendor like her. This was why Ino was very much averse to depression and did everything in her might to battle it when it reared its ugly head.

Even if it meant throwing temper tantrums like a petulant child.

And those she could do startlingly well for some reason…

"Sakura-chan…" moaned pathetically the sad excuse for a man that she currently had no idea how Sakura agreed to going out with. "Let's ditch the planning and do something just the two of us…" The rest of the sentence was rendered unintelligible because of him mumbling it against the tabletop but she could hear something about 'Valentine's day' and 'couple-like things'.

"Do you want to die in this next mission, Naruto?" snapped Sakura menacingly, glaring daggers at the petty puddle of unhappiness that was previously a radiant man. She—unsurprisingly—took his incoherent mumbling for a roundabout negative answer. "I didn't think so either. So if you really want to live you better let me do this for us. If you have nothing brilliant to impart on us, I suggest you can leave now before your whining starts _really_ grating on my nerves."

And _strike out_ for the man in the black and orange outfit. His spirits dampened even more than they were before and Ino was genuinely surprised that was even possible.

The blonde girl couldn't help but roll her eyes in aggravation at the melodrama that Sakura was starring in. Ever since that last mission of which she had been put a leader in, she'd become really obsessive about this 'planning ahead' thing. So much so that it was beginning to grind on Ino's very last nerve.

It was enough that the pink-headed nightmare was insane enough to indulge in this kind of paranoid exercise. Why, oh, _why_ did she have to drag _her_ man into this as well? And it definitely didn't help that Sai was disconcertingly obedient when it came to Sakura's demands even though the epithets he used in addition to her name were usually anything but flattering. If Ino didn't know any better, she might have actually felt alarmed at that thought.

But it _is_ Sai we are talking about after all, so jealousy over Billboard Brow was definitely out of the question.

Yet there was only as much infuriation as one could take before bursting.

That and Ino wasn't really one of the people really good at keeping her discontent to herself.

"Sai?" Zero attention. A little vein popped into existence at the side of her temple. This definitely wouldn't do if they wanted their relationship to work. "Sai, if you do not pay me some due attention on this day, I am going to leave here right now and you'll never hear of me again!"

"Don't feel obliged to stay, Ino—it _is_ a cell meeting, after all," her 'boyfriend's' voice informed her while checking out rather thoroughly the sketch of the fighting formation Group Kakashi was supposed to use should they happen to be assaulted out of the blue on their upcoming mission.

The blonde girl shook with indignation and failed to notice that the other despaired occupant of the table had put himself together somewhat, enough to stare at her with a very much puzzled expression.

"I mean it when I say that this will be the last time you ever see me if you don't do some serious damage control now, Sai…" she trailed off, expecting some kind of sign—or even _celestial guidance_ although she was one of the greatest atheists to have walked this Earth—that she _shouldn't_ storm off.

Predictably, she received none.

Growling rather unlady-like in her indignation, she stood up abruptly, glaring daggers at her raven headed partner. He actually had the audacity to look bewilderedly up at her upright form as if her reaction was completely unexpected.

Everyone missed the panicked expression that seized Naruto's features.

"Fine then!" she ground out between her tightly gritted teeth. "Have fun in your 'Team Seven Only' activities. _I_ am going to find someone who would appreciate his luck in having me as his date for tonight and please his every whim—_somewhere far away from you, Sai_!"

She huffed and sniffed snobbishly, turning on her heel to make a dignified exit from the place before she decided that pounding her boyfriend's confused mug in wasn't such a bad idea after all but she didn't manage to go too far before a large hand grabbed hold of her slender elbow. It was all she could do to submerge the self-satisfied smirk—there was _no_ man alive who could resist her charisma alright—as she turned around…

… To be greeted by the wrong face.

"Please, Ino-chan!" pleaded pitifully Sakura's only remaining original teammate, his face fixed into a demented expression of desperation. "Don't leave! You're the only reason he's laying off the snarky comments and penis jokes and I don't know how many of those I can take before I snap!"

The young woman sized the guy skeptically, her annoyance not at all dissipating. Sure, over the years she'd come to respect Naruto for his no-longer-as-hidden talents and she'd even forced herself to stay in his company long enough to get to know him a bit better and grow closer to him but they weren't close enough for her to put her every nerve cell on the line for him.

These things just didn't happen. And she was determined to make him understand that.

"I'm really sorry about your predicament, Naruto," even though she didn't look sorry at the very least, "and I'd love to stay so you could hide behind my skirt from Sai's horrible, horrible attacks," her fellow blonde was now rolling his eyes with mounting irritation, "but I will not linger around a minute longer where people don't even look at me when I speak to them!" She had purposefully raised her voice to gather some attention with at least that remark but it did not achieve its goal. Sakura was still in deep—mostly one-sided too—conversation with her artful cell mate.

She lifted her arms up in defeat and looked at Naruto with an irked expression.

"I will be humiliated no more—this was supposed to be a great day and I will make it just that!" She glared pointedly with her cornflower blue eyes that were currently ablaze with fury at the raven headed youth who seemed completely oblivious to her rampage as he corrected plans on a napkin with one of his brushes that he infallibly carried along with him regardless where he went. _That_ he had enough care to spare a moment but not to look at his gorgeous to goodness doting girlfriend? The _nerve_ of that guy… "Somewhere _away_ from this imbecile because we're _through_!"

"_Don't_," Naruto made a grab for her arm again before she could flee the scene, "go, Ino! We could find a way to get Sakura-chan off her row but I can't do this alone! Please, stay!"

It was really sad, how pathetic this guy looked as he begged her but his words were what brought on a new thread of thought in Ino's twisted mind.

"Hmph…" she snorted contemplatively, an impish smirk stretching her pinkish lips as she looked at her man and his teammate going over battle plans and then at the pleading blonde future Rokudaime.

An idea had already formed in her devilish mind and Naruto should've known better than to have asked for her help, knowing that Ino had her spurs of complete unpredictability (and temporary insanity, if we have to be downright frank) when rubbed the wrong way. Which was exactly what Sai had done to make her want to storm out on him like that on the holiday most cherished by girls in the whole year.

"You're absolutely right you can't do this alone." Her smirk subdued into a forcedly coy grin. "And, actually, I already have the perfect plan to get their attention."

Cerulean eyes widened in fascination.

"You _do_?" he asked in amazement, leaning in conspiratorially. "What is it?" he whispered eagerly, hands itching to rub together in anticipation.

"_This_," Ino announced before taking a grip on his neck to balance herself on her toes and to bring him on level with her.

Somehow, the unnatural startled squawk of her blonde teammate made Sakura come out of her reverie for long enough to look up and around to stop the light haired menace and tell him to quit complaining and help so they'd sooner go on to their date. Instead, she was greeted by the sight of her best friend and her once rival locked together in a passionate kiss, Ino's filthy paws buried in his hair while his hands rested on her dainty little shoulders.

The pink-haired apprentice of the Godaime inhaled sharply but her sudden attentiveness obviously did not suffice to part the making out couple.

"What _the hell_ do you think you're doing, Ino-pig?" the short-tempered girl demanded, shouting, cracking her knuckles as she stood up, napkin-plans forgotten at once.

When Ino finally released Naruto from her smothering kiss, they were both considerably robbed of their breath and the poor boy looked like he had just been told that the Yondaime was his father. His make out partner, though, looked very pleased with herself as she turned smugly towards her rival.

"What did it _look_ like I was doing, Forehead Girl? Naruto-kun was being such a darling and, since it's a day to celebrate love and spread it and _you_ didn't look like you were going to spread some of yours for him, I gave him a kiss to express my gratitude for his kindness." She was positively beaming while she watched her life-long friend and antagonist shake in barely contained fury. "I can see nothing wrong with that."

"Well _I_ do!" the pink-haired Haruno daughter hollered, her eyes squinting in malignance until they were mere angry slits. "His girlfriend and _your_ boyfriend are right here and you still go on and snog him senseless! Have you no shame?" By the time her voice had dropped to a hiss and her brows had narrowed so deeply that there were ugly creases on her abnormally large forehead.

"If either of you were listening to me, you would've heard that Sai and I are through." She crossed her arms under her chest, as if to emphasize mockingly she was bustier than the other kunoichi, as if she had more to offer her man than Sakura ever would. The bubble-gum haired girl flushed a shade of red that put her crimson coloured vest to shame. "And since you were being a terrible girlfriend to poor old Naruto, I decided to show him what having a _real_ girlfriend could feel like and offer him a choice—something he didn't have before when he got together with you."

Throughout the whole exchange the male in question was staring blankly in space, still very much shaken up by what just happened. Not only did he get kissed by the least likely girl and not push her away even though he had his dream girlfriend—all due to the shock, no doubt—but he had also quite enjoyed the contact.

At first, his hands had jumped up to her shoulders to push her away—if anything, out of reflex—but then he'd noted just how tiny her shoulders actually were, fully encompassed in his palms' grips. And his mind had wandered somewhere from there, though he'd be loathe to admit where exactly.

"That's it, Ino-pig, you boyfriend-stealing slut!"

"Ha! It's not called _stealing_ when you're not even interested in him enough to want to spend some time alone instead of _scheming for missions_, Forehead Girl, you prude!"

The other girl gasped, affronted.

"From this moment on, we're _rivals_ again! I don't want to see you anywhere near me or Naruto anymore!" She huffed and stormed off, grabbing her boyfriend's arm on the way and dragging him along with her with the words, "Come on, Naruto—we need to have a serious talk."

As they retreated, just before the door to the restaurant closed, the blonde Kyuubi vessel looked over his shoulder, an adorable little blush spread on his features, at Ino before dazedly giving her a thumbs-up. She smiled in return and replied with a mute victory sign of her own. The guy had just enough time to see her do it when Sakura shoved him roughly forward, positively fuming as she trudged onward.

The door closed and Ino thought that those guys had just needed a tiny nudge in the right direction, that a kiss from the right person in the right time was all it took to make Sakura look over at him.

As the blonde girl looked at the deadpan expression of her boyfriend's face, though, she knew that it would take more than one single little kiss to fix _that_ guy's eyes on her, to make him really _look_ her way…

She could feel a head-ache coming on.

And to think that _all she wanted_ was for him to just _look over here_, at _her_…

* * *

_A/N_: You're probably going to hate me for starting a new fic when I have one already _actively_ going on and it's never a good thing for me to be doing two stories at the same time but this one is for the "Thirty Kisses" LiveJournal challenge that I took up a while ago and never got round to writing. That was because I planned to make this into a grand, possibly epic-length completely chronologically sensible story. A very wrong decision—it crippled my muse to a point. So, instead, now I'm going to go along with just the spur of the moment kind of thing, see where it takes. 

Come along for the ride or not—it depends solely on you.

This is also my _**CONGRATULATIONS ON BECOMING THE SEVENTH MOST POPULAR COMMUNITY **_fic for the most amazing C2, "_A NarutoxIno Collection_" – a very complete archive of some of the most wonderful stories on this couple there were ever written. So, if you haven't jumped the bandwagon yet, now's your chance—help us climb up another place.

Thank you for the attention and expect a new installment soon, I hope… xD Yours sincerely, Dark Hope Assassin.


	2. 2nd Kiss: Spread the Word

_Second Kiss: __Spread the Word_

* * *

When Naruto had taken a stroll around the village this was clearly not what he had signed up for.

Truly, it was unusual to hear such a loud obscene curse coming from the training grounds that were usually void of anyone at that time of day, but checking what was wrong with that person like the compassionate future Hokage that he was might not have been the best idea he had had that day.

For his kindness was awarded with listening to Ino complain on and on about the unfairness of the world towards her in the most high-pitched and obnoxious tone she could've produced with her much impressive for her compact size vocal cords and lungpower.

Then again it might also be true that he was trying his hardest to focus on all her bad points because it was all he could do to keep his mind from wandering back to that very much amazing kiss she had given him the other day. And he was really supposed to think only about his _girlfriend_'s kisses since she was the love of his life. It was easy to see why he felt a teensy bit guilty for his elusive thought train.

It had only been a means of gathering Sakura's attention and he had his peace with that—as a matter of fact, he was quite grateful because it definitely achieved its purpose as far as he was concerned. He was now the center of Sakura's world since she was determined not to lose to Ino in love or war… or, er, rather violent rivalry, at any rate. He was perhaps treated like a trophy, but he didn't mind—being a trophy was his ticket to cloud nine in this case.

The fact he was madly head over heels in love with his pink haired teammate did not mean that he was unfeeling of anything else that happened around him and that smooch Ino had bestowed upon him was definitely a memory that would last.

"I mean, can you believe that? After _years_ of impeccable service, _one_ time I ask them for something and it gets _denied_?! Where's the logic in that?! I really _needed_ that jutsu for my personal interview with Morino-sensei, so I could impress him into recruiting me in his department and eventually proving myself worthy of succeeding him, y'know, through diligent work and perfect record—I needed _one damn scroll_ for _work_ and _they won't give me it_! Do they even realize they're stumping my growth as a ninja? And what am I supposed to do now, huh? Come up with another so-amazing-it-will-blow-your-hitai-ite-off-your-forehead technique just because a bunch of ANBU bastards are playing high and mighty? Hello, _those things don't grow on trees_ and I _really needed that one_! It's not as if I was going to _destroy_ it or something! I was just going to borrow it for a day, learn the freaking jutsu, and then return it—is that too much to ask!?"

Wow… She sure could pull a lengthy rant when she was angry, Naruto noted as he watched her pant indignantly, the fair skin of her cheeks flushed with exertion. She'd almost said all that in a breath—it was simply mind-boggling.

It didn't take a ridiculously famous clan-genius to notice that she was really worked up over not getting her way.

Not that he could blame her, really. He didn't like things not going how he expected them to in a personal plan but when such things happened at work just because someone was too narrow-minded to entrust you with something you desperately need in your climb up the shinobi career ladder it was nothing short of horrible a feeling. He knew well because his climb would be the longest, seeing as he was aiming for the top.

The young man didn't know when he had first noticed it, but he had a really strong sense of justice planted deeply within him. And right now that same sense was shrieking in alarm at the atrocious injustice that was committed against his fellow blonde friend.

Seeing as he was going to become a Hokage some time soon, it was only fair that he started practicing for the position by righting any wrongs he came across.

What better time to start than right there, right then?

Meanwhile, Ino's ire had settled down a notch and she had opted for just fuming to herself, her rant in a more subdued volume.

"So _thanks to those stuck-up prissy assholes in ANBU_, I'm stuck with this… this _imbecilic_ beta-plan jutsu. Better yet, I don't have who to practice it with—everyone I ask just blows me off because they either 'have work to do' or 'are on their way somewhere' or 'don't have time to talk nonsense with me right now'—and it's impossible to really master it on your own! It's _meant_ to feature at least two different parties!"

She heaved a great sigh and plopped down rather ungracefully in her defeat on the lush green forest floor, cupping her cheeks with her hands while her arms rested by the elbows on her crossed legs. She made for a really amusing sight in that pose.

Naruto wisely kept his mirth to himself though—he knew better than to push the wrong buttons on angry kunoichi. Those girls only misled you to _believe_ they were small and harmless so it would hurt a hell lot more when they punched your lights out for saying the wrong thing in the wrong time. Tact was something young shinobi men needed to learn early on so there would be no casualties in peaceful times for the Village.

"I'm never going to get that job at the Interrogation Department. I'm never going to succeed Ibiki-san because he won't even know I exist. I'm going to stay a faceless unimportant cadre of the regular shinobi force with no talent my whole life!" She huffed and pouted. Life was truly unfair.

Those were the last words that spurred Naruto to make an immediate decision—he'd sneak into the Hokage tower and make a copy of the scroll they wouldn't willingly give Ino.

It had been a while since he'd pulled a prank on anyone and for the first time ever by wreaking havoc he could actually _help_ someone. What better way to turn a past career of a troublesome prankster around to put a fresh start to his record as a better man?

But he wouldn't let Ino know just now, no. And not because he enjoyed looking at her grumbling—there were few things worse than her grumbling and some of them included one's mutilated corpse being handed over on a silver platter to Kyuubi (who, by the way, must be starving after twenty-something years of no human flesh on his menu).

He wouldn't tell her because telling her might jinx his luck in succeeding and he didn't want that. Pranks were always good training in stealth, speed and good organization but a prank gone wrong could be really harmful for his current position on the force. He had just got Tsunade to entrust him with more and more responsibilities so he could grow used to taking care of the village on his own one day and he didn't want to ruin that.

He didn't want Ino to despair either though.

So he'd have to use all his conniving scheming genius to execute this flawlessly.

Meanwhile he might as well take some of the causes for Ino's worry off her chest.

"If you need someone to train with, I have some free time," he suggested helpfully, looking on intrigued at the sudden change in demeanor that there was in her the second the words were out of his mouth.

The perky blonde girl bolted upright when she heard the demon vessel's suggestion, a brilliant light of hope shining blindingly in her eyes. It was truly incredible how she could switch from completely disillusioned to brimming with enthusiasm in the blink of an eye.

"You'd do that for me? You're serious?"

Naruto allowed himself a small light-hearted laugh because the gratefulness emanated off of Ino in thick waves—it was infinitely flattering to be able to do something that means so much for someone. And that was just the beginning of his good deed for her but she needn't know that right then.

"Sure—training with you definitely beats aimlessly roaming around the forests of Konoha and by far." He put a hand behind his neck and gave a sheepish grin but it appeared his companion was no longer listening, instead rummaging her pouch for something.

"Ah-ha! Here it is!" She exclaimed when she finally found what she was looking for and produced a regular-looking jutsu holding scroll from within its folds. "Thanks a lot for agreeing to do this with me, Naruto—you really saved my life."

He opened his mouth to retort but got no chance to, as the girl had already unfurled the roll of paper, her hands a blur as they flew adeptly through the hand seals.

"Now I want you to relax your body because otherwise the intrusion will be more uncomfortable than it already is," she coaxed unconvincingly when Naruto's whole form froze in terror while her remote body control technique seized hold of him.

It was at that exact moment that the blond Hokage-wannabe learnt _why_ exactly everyone had been so 'busy' today not to be able to help Ino out…

* * *

Things were finally starting to look up for the young kunoichi. Sure, she didn't have the one technique she wanted to be sure she'd get the place at Interrogation and Torture, but at least she'd picked the most endurable person to train with and thus assured herself she had her beta-plan down to perfection. She could perform her family jutsu with her eyes closed now if need be.

She really hoped that Naruto wouldn't harbor any hard feelings for her when he woke up tomorrow morning, aching all over, because remote body entering was always a really invasive and later on painful technique for the person on the receiving end.

She had the sneaking suspicion she should've told him that before roping him into a promise he would rather not keep.

* * *

Later the same day, just before closing time, Ino was arranging flowers in her family's flower shop, the premise the picture of tranquility, before the door burst open and her heaven on earth destroyed in an instant of slaughtered idyll. She looked up from her ikebana, alarmed, to meet the madly darting around gaze of none other than the person with whom she had parted not a few hours ago.

Her eyes narrowed, a sardonic look twisting her pretty face.

"Something tells me that you're not here to buy a bouquet, are you?" She drawled out, her monotone voice drawing his attention immediately, his face mirroring the feelings of the proverbial deer.

"No time!" he rasped out, out of breath and in obviously in a hurry when he flung himself on the counter behind which she was standing. "Take this and hide it, _now_," he told her as he shoved something small and cylindrical in her hands. "Hurry—they'll come in here any second—"

The door to the Yamanaka flower shop slammed open for the second time that day and a group of five seriously pissed ANBU nin came into view. She heard Naruto make a squeaky "Eep!" in alarm, before the one who seemed to be the leader of the party exclaimed,

"There he is! Don't let him escape this time!"

"See ya, Ino!" her friend said hurriedly, brushing past her towards the back entrance of the shop, the five ANBU following closely in his wake, leaving a dumbfounded Ino behind to deal with the wreckage that the special squad shinobi had made in their rush to capture Naruto.

"Well ain't that nice," she huffed aloud to herself, scoffing severely at the mess around her. This was going to take _hours_ to fix.

And what exactly had it happened for, again?

Her cornflower blue eyes shifted to the item still held firm in her hold—a cheap-looking scroll. Her scowl deepened as she proceeded to open it.

And when she did, her eyes widened until they were on par with the size of saucers.

She looked up in the direction her boisterous buddy had run off to then to the parchment that depicted the same jutsu that she had been so frustrated about not getting, the scroll a perfect copy of the only original that was kept in Tsunade-sama's personal archives with people guarding the vault on twenty-four hour duty (thanks to people like Naruto who barged in and stole a jutsu or two every now and then).

A grin came over her features as she clutched the object to her chest, her heart leaping with unbridled happiness.

Miraculously, the mess in the shop didn't bother her one bit anymore.

* * *

He groaned pitifully when he took another file from the pile that didn't seem to diminish one bit even though his diligent efforts the past four hours in trying to work through it all.

Tsunade really knew her stuff when she wanted to punish him.

Naturally, after a while the ANBU had caught up to him and chastised him and he would've been content if they had left it at that but they just _had_ to bring him to the Godaime so she could take justice in her own hands as well.

Boy, did being a good friend ever suck more than it did while he rifled through stacks upon stacks of mission documents for hours on end.

The accursed granny _knew_ how much he abhorred doing paperwork and she had chosen the most gruesome penalty for him, the ever energetic hyperactive ninja that he was—browsing through out of town A and B rank missions, checking if everything was alright with them and correcting anything that needed correction. Oh, she was _good_ but she wouldn't break _him_ this easily!

Seething with all the wrath of a petulant child caught doing something it shouldn't be, the blond troublemaker paid no mind at all to the chatter of excited pleased clients around him, coming to pay for a good service to his temporary colleagues in the 'desk-work division', as he had, snickering all the while, taken to calling them.

He was completely sucked into a world of his own in his furious attempts to rid himself of a tedious job for the day so he didn't take note that the shinobi behind the large desks looked up in surprise when the large wooden double doors burst open.

The next part was impossible to ignore, though, unless you were utterly insane, which the blond fancied to think he had yet to accomplish.

"I got it!" The clearly exhilarated shriek of a female voice carried to him, startling him out of his reverie back down to present time. "I got the post, Naruto! I passed the test with flying colours thanks to you!" Ino flounced in, a prance in her step as she took quick large strides towards the desk of the boy in question. "I can't thank you enough for this baby!" She pecked the scroll which he had given her, a large grin plastered on her face that he had never seen before.

Clients and shinobi alike were starting to whisper, creating a background noise of excited buzz as the girl finally stood in front of her knight in shining armour who had ridden in on his high horse to save her when no one else could have and given her back her hope for her job's future.

The boy chuckled uneasily, not used to the attention he was getting from that many people in situations like this. He wasn't really good with receiving any thanks because he rarely did anything that deserved it. He was suddenly thrown in deep waters before being taught how to swim back to shore.

"Oh, it was nothing really, Ino-chan…"

She looked at him incredulously as if saying such a thing was blasphemy.

"'Nothing really' you say? Of course it's something! It's _huge_!" She jumped up on the balls of her feet, making him flinch back slightly at the suddenness of her movement and the octave her voice had taken. "I have dreamed so many times about this moment! Now I can actually _taste_ it and it's all thanks to _you_, you adorable goof!"

She stared adoringly at him and he knew for certain that the excitement had got to her head because regular Ino would never look at him with anything short of condescending resignation that he existed.

He gave another strangled chuckle, becoming increasingly aware of the sly looks the pair of them was getting from his current co-workers and the present clients in the room.

He didn't have much time to consider how uncomfortable the situation was though; because Ino decided just then to do the only thing that could possibly make it worse.

"You're the best friend ever! I can't thank you enough for doing this for me! But thanks anyway!"

She seemed to consider a way to express her gratitude better and for lack of any more ingenious ideas decided to give into the urge that she'd had ever since she learnt the stunt the guy had pulled had actually earned her the place she had craved for what seemed like a lifetime.

She reached out, putting her hands on the back of his neck and pulling him in for a rather forceful with brimming joy kiss of appreciation for his effort.

All the occupants of the room seemed to freeze on the spot as they witnessed the girl dubbed 'Number One Most Eligible Kunoichi in Konohagakure' according to "Shinobi Weekly" give the most abominable Hokage-wannabe in history what looked like a rather impassioned smooch right on the lips.

The recipient of her gesture of thankfulness was in stupor himself, in all frankness, because this seemed to become a habit of hers lately, going around kissing people who already had doting girlfriends. Kissing them in such ways that in that certain moment it was difficult to remember their girlfriends' names, not to mention how they looked like or why they were still going out…

When his head was released from her vice-like in its firmness grip, he was staring at her wide eyed, completely dumbfounded while she grinned beamingly at him, her thrill not having subsided one bit from the mind-numbing lip lock.

"Thanks a million for your help again, Naruto and I'll see you around, as Ibiki-senpai's only apprentice the next time we meet!"

And she laughed in an absolutely demented way while she skipped out the door, the prance in her step more pronounced than ever, making her into a rather successful imitation of an overgrown bunny.

It was a while until anyone could get back on track with work again, which was just as tedious after Ino's unannounced visit as it was before it.

But Naruto didn't mind that anymore, really. He had a positively idiotic grin on his face to go with the blissful thoughtlessness of his head.

Because there could still be no question whether or not he was head over heels in love with Sakura-chan but some girls just _know_ how to blow you away with the simplest of things, even if you hold absolutely _no_ feelings of affection for them.

He was glad to have been on the receiving end of Ino's affectionless excitement induced kisses twice. They certainly made his day that much brighter for whatever reason.

Being a good friend had never tasted any sweeter.

* * *

_DHA_: There, part two of "Thirty Kisses" challenge done. If you're wondering, the theme is "news; letter" and it's related to the story in two ways: what Ino gets from Naruto in the middle of the fic is a scroll, or a letter, so to say, and then when she shows up while he's doing his punishment, she's giving him the news of her promotion. So, yeah, I met both parts of a challenge without exactly meaning to. (grins) I hope you enjoyed it and I can tell you that I have chapter three of this story already roughly sketched out so, yeah, hopefully it won't be too long until the next update.

Anyway, thanks for your attention and stay tuned for more NaruIno insanity!


	3. 3rd Kiss: Adhering to Tradition

_Third Kiss: Adhering to Tradition_

* * *

She wasn't sure what she had expected after smooching him—_for a second time_, no less—in front of so many people like that but not hearing a peep or catching a fleeting glimpse of him for more than a week definitely hadn't been it. 

Maybe it was her over-inflated ego dictating her thoughts but she'd always believed herself too gorgeous, too talented in everything she took up to just be ignored like any other girl you can see prowling the streets without a purpose in her life.

Yamanaka Ino was too damn tempting of a minx to be avoided by anyone, especially that no-good demon vessel Uzumaki!

It was safe to say she was displeased with the turn of events after she got her promotion.

And, although her mind chanted hurtful, taunting names like a mantra for one certain Hokage aspirant, it wasn't as though she really meant it all—that was mostly just her indignation speaking.

After all, one didn't risk one's job for someone one didn't think at least a friend, right?

Or was the guy just _that_ naïve?

She was loathe to admit that it wasn't beyond him, but still she wasn't desperate enough to seek him out and demand some attention of him. You don't get kissed _twice_ by a girl as otherworldly as Ino and not say a word about it!

But she had her pride to keep, and face to save, so she kept quiet and waited for the chance to clear up whether she'd thrown him off by suddenly jumping him like that (although she deeply doubted it; a kiss like that could never be dubbed anything short of magnificent by anyone).

And then they met again, pulled conveniently together by the threads of fate, summoned for a two-cell team mission.

Again, maybe she was overestimating herself by thinking that he should've been edgy, or fretful, or at least marginally uneasy in any way.

But could you really blame her for being miffed about the guy being as composed, blissfully ignorant of her feelings on the matter and ditzy as usual?

Ino was a professional though and she wasn't easily swung by her emotions, however powerful they may be at times, especially when it came to doing business. She could keep her temper checked; she could refrain from throwing selfish tantrums over things she shouldn't even bother herself with in the first place. After all, she had more self-control than most and, when necessary, a patience to match it.

When they both arrived at the Hokage's desk, backs straight as boards in awaiting their orders, she didn't even look at him and neither did he at her. They chanted together the respectful and very much obligatory, "Yes, Hokage-sama!" and disappeared in a pair of smoke clouds.

They reappeared at the same time in front of the entrance of the Hokage tower, no longer using mind-boggling speed to move—which lay in the base of the so-called Jounin 'teleportation'—and discussed the mission's specifics in hushed tones, sticking strictly to business, just as any two serious shinobi should.

It was an easy enough mission to give even a genin three-man cell with their Chuu- or Jounin sensei but, considering the person it involved and the kind of circles he moved within, upper class ninja were better suited for it.

Ninja without passes for the Fire Country had been seen roaming somewhere around the Village, asking for "Uchiha Sasuke", a traitor branded a Missing Nin in the bingo books long ago—something Ino wasn't sure whether or not her current mission partner had made his peace with—when he first left the Village after nearly killing one of its ninjas—her current partner himself, ironically enough.

When the intruders didn't get any satisfying information—or maybe even if they did, who knew?—they destroyed hide-outs of border nins and caused general mayhem that was not welcomed with open arms by the higher ups of Konoha.

Because all previous teams that had been sent to investigate had not returned, this time Konoha's elders had chosen to send the most capable interrogator they had—Yamanaka Ino—who could fend perfectly well for herself but, should it come to fighting multiple enemies and if she needed any aid in prying information from her prey, they had sent with her the unbeatable one-man army, Uzumaki Naruto. This way, no matter how tough the opponent, no matter his connection to the Ex-Leaf Missing Nin, they would surely be able to take them on and bring to an abrupt halt this illicit crusade of the outsiders on Fire Land.

However she looked at it, though, Ino couldn't help but feel that her bosses were overdoing it when sending her and Naruto to the site. Just how many and how powerful people had to have gone missing for those in charge to send out _Naruto_, of all people, and _her_, who rarely set foot out of the village for fear of anyone unwanted intercepting her and figuring out how to counter her techniques, or, god forbid, copying those she used for information gathering?

As she set off home to get ready for dispatching early next morning, the girl got the feeling that there was something someone wasn't telling them.

She'd have plenty of time to worry about that later though. Now she was better off focusing on making sure that whatever information she was being kept from would not prove crucial to the success of her mission.

Child's play easy or not, a mission was a mission, and failing one just because she had underestimated the odds against her was something Yamanaka Ino did _not_ do.

Not just anyone succeeds Morino Ibiki. And Ino didn't plan to stop her climb up in ranks just at taking Ibiki-san's place. If she wanted to continue upwards, she'd have to take every job to heart.

* * *

As it came out, Ino and Naruto proved to make a very good team. 

Upon setting out of Konoha, the kunoichi enlightened her partner about the handy use of her Shintenshin no Jutsu. They wasted no time in finding a bird picking at its feathers for morning grooming and, before the woodland animal could have being scared away by the soul speeding towards it, the buzzard was possessed by Ino's mind.

Naruto scooped up carefully Ino's vacated real body, feeling only slightly disgruntled by the fact he was carrying a soulless shell, just an idea better than a corpse, and set off after the bird of whose actions his partner was currently in charge of.

They discovered the rough whereabouts of the foreign nins not long afterwards, to the blonde young man's great relief. Her reconnaissance task complete for the time being, Ino returned to her own body once again. They wasted no time in chit-chat—as soon as she stirred awake and could articulate words well enough, she told him everything she had seen through the bird's eyes.

There were only two trespassers—a man and a woman, both in their twenties by appearance, skilled nin judging by the fact that the female was suddenly on the alert once Ino was in a five meter radius of her and the man throwing a kunai that dissolved into water at the sound of her wings flapping lightly as she touched down on a branch not too far from them. They sensed her presence but did not continue looking for her, gradually getting lulled into a false sense of security, which led her to believe that they were not spies.

"Did they say anything while you were there?" Naruto asked her in low volume. "Anything about Sasuke or scheming a riot or whatever?"

Platinum haired head shook slowly.

"No riots but they began bickering as soon as they weren't wary of me. Something about losing their team thanks to the guy and so on and so forth—it was worthless chatter but I do believe I heard the girl muttering something about Sasuke." She huffed and crossed her arms. "Honestly, I think that they were just some vagabonds passing through or something—I don't see what the big deal is, sending _us_ out…"

The demon vessel shook his head, disagreeing with her point.

"What about the teams they sent before us? Did you see any Konoha ninjas around? Any discarded corpses or something?" he prodded on.

Ino sighed through her nose. She really didn't see why he was so insistent on believing that this wasn't some practical joke of the Hokage's. Sure, some capable foreigners were passing through Fire Country territory without passes and no one knew where they came from but it's not as if such cases didn't happen all the time, just without anyone detecting those teams.

True, it was odd that a number of teams that were sent to investigate had not contacted back since encountering said outsiders but it could be that they had got themselves in trouble with the woodland animals… or something. Alright, so it _was_ very odd but how long were those teams gone? _Who_ was on them? It was difficult _not_ being half-hearted about the mission when the mission's specifics were given to her just as half-heartedly. She had just become Ibiki-san's successor and she didn't feel like wasting her potential on pointless goose chases across the country.

"No, nothing. There weren't too many flocks of crows accumulated anywhere I flew through _or_ around their campsite which only leads me to believe that they did not kill anyone even if they were the ones responsible for the teams' disappearance," she said truthfully, craning her neck around the large tree trunk that they were hiding behind to catch even a glimpse of the intruders' chakra signatures.

"They didn't kill anyone _yet_…" If Naruto had been the type of person for that, he would probably be chewing on the nail of his thumb in anxiety right then—that's the kind of aura he gave off. It almost made Ino roll her eyes. "So we have no proof that they are in violation of any other regulations except trespassing on our territory and that is not in our jurisdiction…"

This time Ino _did_ roll her eyes.

"There's nothing more to think about, Naruto. It's out of our field of work and they haven't done anything wrong—they did not prove hostile and there is no trace of the teams that have disappeared, even less that _they_ are the ones responsible for the disappearances. It's over and you should accept that so we can go _home_."

She was cranky; she was annoyed that he had yet to mention what had happened—_again_—between them—although it was nothing really if neither of them meant anything with it, was it? But she tried not to dwell too much on that fact—and the last thing she needed was to be stuck in a lush forest thinking _where_ exactly corpses could be hidden—not exactly a mood brightening thought, as you can tell.

So _why_ couldn't he just let it _go_—like he had _obviously_ let go of the fact that she had kissed him full on the mouth and he had discredited that completely—so they could go back to good old Konoha?

She was probably being unreasonable, above all else. Very much possible—the bottom line was that she didn't care anyway.

"Did you see anything around their site that could suggest that they are still holding the team members hostage?" she heard vaguely Naruto asking her once again and this time she rolled her eyes very demonstratively.

"No, not at all!" At the pointed look he gave her, she decided to stop being too petulant about it and actually give it some thought. "No, yes, I don't know—they could've been discarded in the tent or something, I don't know."

"Then we should go investigate."

Ino was sure that if _she_ was the one captured and disillusioned about ever getting herself out of the mess that her bosses had got her into she would be eternally grateful for Naruto's drive for righteousness. But seeing as she was on the other side of the fence—with the "rescuing team"—and it didn't feel very nice there in the first place, she had no wish to cooperate. Call it woman's instinct, if you want—she had a bad feeling about disturbing that pair.

Or you could call it capriciousness of some sort as well because she just _didn't want to do it_. Whatever—it didn't matter. Whatever label you slap on it, she still only desired to _go home and sleep that irritation off_!

She opened her mouth to call after him and stop him but before she could do that her senses went haywire, alarm bells in her head ringing deafeningly of approaching danger.

The blonde didn't even have the time to react although she knew it was coming but she was hauled out of harm's way—in the form of a sword leveling all trees and creating a small clearing in the place she had just stood—by her partner jumping away from the scene.

Once they touched down on a tree branch, Ino had already pulled herself together. Naruto was talking to her but she wasn't listening. He would soon learn that a pissed Ino made a very crappy damsel in distress.

While the two of them were having a small spat about whether she could have dodged that herself or not—for which is wasn't the time of place, Naruto kept reminding her repeatedly every few seconds—in the rubble a shark-like man with pristine white hair and his raven-haired colleague were sizing the blond duo up and down with condescending eyes, something Ino _hated_ people doing.

The large sword dislodged itself from the trunk it had dug into to stop it and relocated itself on the swinger's well-toned shoulder. He was leering up at the two of them and oh, just how badly Ino longed to smack that smug smirk off his face.

"Seems like we found ourselves a new pair of rodents, Karin," he drawled out.

The silver haired guy let out a throaty cackle. It was easy to tell that he was about to make another remark he probably thought witty but Naruto cut him rather short, charging straight at him with a hand outstretched, clutching a kunai.

The foreigner scoffed at him with a lopsided scowl and swung down his heavy sword. But it only parted the smoke of the dispelled Kage Bunshin. He had no time to even realize that his Konoha opponent had stabbed him with a kunai in the back before his internal fluids were coating the cold blade.

But unless the guy had pure water running through his veins, Naruto's plan at a surprise attack had backfired badly. The droplets of the clear liquid dripped down the blade and the blonde couldn't even begin to comprehend what had happened before his enemy splattered into several liters of water himself.

'_Water clone?_' pondered Ino idly before parrying a hit to her head from this Karin girl, whoever she was.

"You were what was wrong with the chakra pulse I sent out earlier, aren't you?" the brunette hissed menacingly, while one foot outstretched in hopes of kicking the air out of her antagonist's lungs.

It didn't work—Ino caught the appendage before it made contact with her body and used the momentum of the attack to try and flip the other girl over her head and flatten her on the ground. That didn't work either, because as soon as the darker haired girl was air borne, she slammed her free foot in the leaf nin's hands which were holding her ankle hostage, successfully freeing it by catching the other young woman off-guard once again.

"What's it to you?" glowered Ino back, retrieving a few shuriken from her pouch.

A few droplets of blood shed by the kunoichi whose mind had been too jumbled with an expertly cast jutsu of the blonde girl's to evade completely all six shuriken, Karin snorted cynically, wiping the crimson off her cheek.

"I'll show you how fearsome chakra can become when you master it as well as I have," the raven-haired woman all but threatened, a positively evil glint in her eyes.

"Yeah?" muttered arrogantly the other, some ninja wire muffling her words as she readied it for use. "In that case you may consider yourself lucky enough to be subjected to witness how powerful a tool the mind can be when using the right amount of chakra in the right place."

They stared each other down for a while longer, both irked for very different reasons, but both equally frustrated with the current predicament they found themselves in.

Their feet left the ground at the same time and it did not need to be spelled out by anyone—the death match was on. It was kill or be killed.

Only the stronger team would survive the clash.

They were in on it up to their necks.

* * *

An hour into the battle and neither side was blatantly overpowering the other yet. They had strengths and weaknesses that were too different, that the other couldn't use very well against them and that was good recipe for a lengthy and exhausting fight. 

And yet Ino had managed successfully to entrap Karin in one of her illusions, giving the blonde crouching on a branch nearby the hallucinating brunette the time opening needed to get ready for one of her most mind-messing techniques of all.

Her hands were already in the designated seal, lips forming the necessary words when the familiar sense of alarm from earlier seized her again. But this time she couldn't move—her mind was so concentrated on the task of getting control over a second body—a strenuous exercise in itself—that it couldn't react to the self-defense mechanisms seeded deeply within her very core, all of which were going insane with wariness at the moment.

She made a great attempt to take herself out of her vulnerable state and move out of impending doom's way but she knew even before she did anything that it would be for naught—whoever had attacked her would have taken into account the few seconds of incapability of protecting herself and was turning them against her. It would be the last mistake she'd ever make as it stood then.

Her cornflower blue eyes grasped the sight of a madly spinning large _something_ intended to obviously behead her but not the even larger _whatever_ that grabbed her roughly off the branch, dragging her down and away from the weapon hurled at her. She realized a moment later that the thing around her neck was a broad arm clad in an orange shirt and there was only one person in the entire shinobi world who could dress quite as atrociously as that.

Naruto had once again saved her from certain death and had left a few Kage Bunshin behind to shake off their opponents for the time being enough to get their bearings about themselves again.

When he made to stick his feet to the trunk of a eucalyptus tree they were otherwise going to crash against though, the chakra he channeled to his legs became unstable and repelled him, much like in the earlier days when he had first been learning the tree walking exercise.

Desperate for stability, the youth's arm made a grab for the branch above his head instinctively, but what his fingers closed around in a vice-like grip was small and definitely not part of an ages old tree.

The feeble object he had grasped didn't do any good to decrease the speed at which they were falling and something was _so_ wrong with the Hokage aspirant that he couldn't even think of turning around and using his chakra that had repelled him from the tree—messed up as his control obviously was at that moment—to repel him from the ground as well and give them a safe landing.

Instead, he just used his side to cushion the girl's fall—because she had been the one he was rescuing, after all; letting her take damage _now_ would defeat the purpose of him jumping head-first to save her, right? They fell—_hard_—and it hurt—_like hell_.

At least at first it did. He may have broken something or fractured a bone but Kyuubi saved him the agony—how unusually helpful of the beast; was it actually _enjoying_ the real action, yearning some actual battle, after all that time sleeping dormant inside him those last few placid weeks?

Ino pulled away from him quickly and examined his sore shoulder that he had fallen on while he propped himself up on his healthy hand, studying the small amount of the plant that had been absolutely _no help at all_ in his predicament. It had puny, white, ball-shaped fruits that were obviously in full blossom, judging by how many they were on such a miniscule branch of it he had unintentionally ripped off.

He glared at it as though it could actually feel the scorn he willed it to.

"Are you alright, Naruto?" Ino fussed, her hand casting a statistical jutsu on his body. "How does your shoulder feel?"

"Crappy," he groaned, flexing his arm joint experimentally. "But I'll live. Kyuubi took most of the pain away anyway."

"And I'll take care of the rest—" She made as to use some medical jutsu on him but he grabbed her wrist, stopping it, before she could do anything. "Let go—it's the least I could do—"

"We're both already used up enough and I'm guessing those guys back there are as well so we should save up any chakra we can. I'm fine, I can fight like this," he assured her, the strength coming back in his voice bit by bit.

And she hadn't even noticed before it started returning that it had been gone.

"Besides, we should get back there. Even though I had one Bunshin transform into you they might have already figured it out and shadow clones aren't always great of a distraction with lunatics who hurl cold weapons all over the place."

Left without another choice when presented with a solid argument like that, Ino nodded reluctantly, dispelling the chakra she had channeled to her hand, the green glow disappearing from it at once. They stood and dusted themselves off, making quick mental checks as to how their bodies were handling the stress.

"I just can't believe that I lost the control over my chakra up there like that!" Naruto muttered irritatedly. "That kind of thing hasn't happened to me in _years_…"

Ino bit her lip while she secured all the kunai in her pouch.

"Well,_ that_ was kind of my fault." At the lost look he gave her, she decided to elaborate. "You see, I was performing a complicated mind-control technique when you grabbed me like that and its forceful dispelling might have had some effect on you that messed with your chakra control."

The boy cocked an eye brow at her, an unreadable expression on his face.

"But," he drew out, "I'm fine now?"

"Yes, I believe it should have worn off already—you weren't _hit_ with it in the first place." He nodded and made to set off back towards the fight scene and the adversaries that his Kage Bunshin wouldn't be able to hold off for much longer.

Before he did though he threw away the small branch with the tiny sphere-like fruits.

"Stupid plant," he growled disgruntled, resisting the urge to stomp on it in a petulant fit. "Such a puny and completely useless, totally unknown vermin—"

"It's mistletoe," Ino said suddenly, putting a stop to his rant that she wasn't sure was even intended for her to overhear. Judging by the startled look he had, it was most probable that he hadn't known he was speaking aloud or something. "That thing that you ripped almost half of—it's mistletoe. A parasite plant that lives off the minerals and water from its host."

They both looked upwards at the small dwarf mistletoe bush that had sustained some damage from their recent escapade. Naruto made a noncommittal grunt that Ino couldn't decipher—her best guess was that he was still pissed that the thing hadn't proved to be strong enough to hoist the weight of two healthy adults—and kicked away the tuft he had severed from it.

Figures that Ino, of all people, would know about flowers and plants of any sort. Mistletoe, mistletoe… that had a conveniently familiar ring to it.

Oh, how he had waited for an opportunity like _this_… Masculinity, welcome back! Dignity, long time no see—glad to have you back!

"Mistletoe, huh?" he murmured thoughtfully while she made to return to kicking Karin's ass out of the country. She stopped when she noticed he wasn't following. "I believe there was a tradition of some sort involving that plant, wasn't there?"

She sighed, miffed once again, marching back to his side, her arms crossing over her chest as she regarded him stoically.

"No, there is no tradition involving mistletoe about our lands and can we_ please_ get back to fighting those foreigners for our lives?" Though _she_ was one to nag about that when _she_ had slipped up—_twice_—because her mind was so _off_ what has happening around her to get into the mood to defend herself for real.

Naruto, though, didn't seem to relent. He was tapping his chin contemplatively with his index finger.

"Surely, there was some eastern belief involving people standing underneath branches of mistletoe and it being bad luck to just walk away without keeping the tradition… but what exactly were you supposed to _do_ while under the accursed thing."

Ino rolled her eyes in exasperation, getting tired of these arguments she was trying to spike.

But if exasperated was all she was, why did her heart skip a beat or two when her mind offered her the answer to Naruto's rhetoric question? She knew about _that_ tradition but this was neither the time nor place to be so silly and—

"Bad luck is the last thing we need in this nowhere land where we can't even send for back up. So if only I could just… Ah hah!" He exclaimed at last, a forefinger demonstratively erect to emphasize his point. "I remember now what that superstition was about!"

She didn't even get a say in what followed—not that _she_ had given _him_ any when she had done practically the same to him before; _twice_, at that. He was at her side in a breath and his large hands—he could cup each of her dainty shoulders and some of her forearm with each palm—were on her shoulders, holding her in place, as he bent down and actually _kissed her_._ On the lips_._ While they were supposed to be fending for their lives and country's borders_.

It was strange that she couldn't even remember those logical arguments against what was happening in this temporary sanity relapse of hers.

Maybe it was because she had been the instigator of all other kisses before—even though they weren't all that many—and this one had been all his doing. Or maybe she was just really going nutters but she distinctly felt a powerful jolt the moment their lips locked together. And that was odd because the kiss wasn't fierce or passionate or anything of the sort. It was just an ordinary, harmless kiss and yet her toes curled in her sandals, for some reason.

The jolt of excitement wore off as soon as it had appeared when he pulled away, cerulean eyes dancing with mischief. At that moment, she wondered if all this "wondering" about mistletoe hadn't been a well staged act on his part.

"Now that we know that no superstition is getting in the way of our triumph over those guys, shall we go? One of my Bunshin got dispelled and it reckoned that the other one wouldn't last long either and _then_ our opponents would be _really_ pissed off."

They ran back, charging immediately upon seeing their adversaries' backs—using the element of surprise to the fullest—and the fight commenced again—blood and sweat coated their bodies in thick sheens as they continued to deplete their chakra reserves, using jutsu after jutsu on one another, the clash almost equal.

Almost but not quite.

Because Ino was no longer on edge, no longer irritated and Karin still was. Because Suigetsu was a durable guy but Naruto was a stamina monster.

And while the Konoha duo was slowly overpowering enemies, the Yamanaka daughter thought that the battlefield is definitely not the place for her to enlighten her partner that the tradition he was referring to takes place only on Christmas, a Christian celebration, when the branches of mistletoe conveniently placed around eastern people's houses; a celebration on which the plant becomes "bewitched" and brings "bad luck" to any couple who stops under it and does not kiss.

She deemed it unnecessary to tell him that even the mistletoe used for that superstition is _not_ the kind that they were standing under or that there was no need to kiss under it when such a tradition was barely even heard of in their country.

His kiss had recharged her and taken the grumpiness of her shoulders for some unfathomable reason. The jolt she had felt alleviated her spirit, brought back the contrast of the colours in her day. She should've probably felt alarmed by that realization but she couldn't bring herself to care at current. Consequences could be dealt with later.

All that she considered relevant at that point in time was savoring the memory of the feel of his warm breath ghosting over the side of her cheek and his soft lips against her own and how she _craved_ to know how much more there was to this guy than being a great closed mouth kisser.

Ino didn't know it then, didn't even think about it, but she was in more trouble than she could've imagined at that point in time.

She didn't care because adhering to tradition is ordinarily a very important thing.

Keeping traditions _is_ what makes them into such, after all.

* * *

A/N: Ugh, that felt _so_ off. I mean the fight sequences. So disjointed—thoughts and ideas flying everywhere, neither connecting with the one before them, blargh… Sorry that the tide retreated on me like that and left me writing such a flawed chapter—no flow to it at all, such a bumpy ride it was. But this is the best I could pull off. I hope that it was satisfactory enough of a transition. Things are going to spice up from now on—hope it managed to catch your attention. (Oh, and anything about mistletoe and such that is not true but works for the story—please ignore facts. The very existence of this chapter defies logic and reason. xD So I can't see why the content shouldn't distort the truth as well.) 

I stopped the fight scene there because it wouldn't be quite as flashy if I had finished it and brought everyone back safely to Konoha. If anyone cares all _that_ much about it, I might bring myself to writing a Suigetsu/Karin piece that will have some pre-history on why those two were in Fire Country at all and will continue after this chapter finished. That's to anyone who cares.

Those are all my thoughts on this chapter. Feedback is love, people; hated it, disliked it, liked it? Love to hear a reader's point of view.


	4. 4th Kiss: Mint Drop Conspiracy pt 1

_Fourth Kiss: The Mint Drop Conspiracy_

_(For She's a Jolly (Not Really) Good Fellow!)_

* * *

He yawned wide enough to put a small cave to shame, all his white perfectly aligned teeth showing to the world.

It was a good thing that the world could care less about seeing his teeth at that moment though, because otherwise he might have been guilt tripped into putting a hand to his mouth. And everyone knows guilt trips are so much trouble. It's one of those things that are a well-known fact without needing anyone to say them out loud.

He was too lazy to brush away the little tear in his eye that had formed with much thanks to his overly wide yawn. He was lazy by default but the ungodly early hour seemed to aid him greatly in reasoning his laziness.

But just why the hell did he seem like he was the only one of the people gathered together in the semi-dark room displeased with the fact an ugly as hell ink monster had woken him up practically in the middle of the night for a no good reason?

* * *

Her internal clock was something the blonde quite prided herself in. More accurately, its sharpness was.

When she put her mind to it, she could get up at any time, regardless how much sleep she had got the night before, without even needing an alarm clock to aid her in that because she infallibly woke up before it went off. It was a quality much appreciated in hard-working ninjas aspiring for a higher rank in the shinobi world, after all. Wouldn't_you_ take pride in it if you were her?

And even though alarms were useless, unnecessary things to the young woman she always, always set one, just in case something went awry one morning for some inexplicable reason; kunoichi who hadn't foreseen any possible hitch in their plans were frowned upon and that was the last thing she needed. She was a model employee of the Land of Fire Shinobi Force and thus couldn't afford any mistakes, even in her daily routines.

The pre-dawn on the twenty-third of September was no different than any other morning though, and as such met a surprisingly self-aware Yamanaka Ino pushing herself up in her bed and switching off the alarm of her clock before it had even the slimmest chance of making its presence known.

So began yet another day just like any other, boring and tedious in its usualness.

* * *

His mind was foggy but even in the worst of cases he was sure he was thinking much more clearly than the pink-haired kunoichi who was standing in front of the throng of people gathered at her call. (Or at least they seemed like a throng to his garbled mind. If he had been in any better a state, he would've realized that nine people hardly made for a throng by any standard.)

A small part of him felt a stab of annoyance at the obvious fact that he looked like the only one to have been dragged out of bed for this lunacy of a meeting.

_A meeting the reasons for which were yet to be clarified._

Not a very favorable fact in the young man's books when it came to congregations at four freaking thirty in the morning. Hell, even _the sun_ hadn't risen yet and they were wide-awake because Haruno bloody Sakura had had an epiphany she thought important enough to share with most of the former Rookie Eleven.

She better have a damn good reason for messing with his sleep. He didn't like to be roused for just about anything. He had a child to take care of and he didn't make for a very nice caretaker when he hadn't had his rest.

Besides, sleep was sacred; it was not to be disturbed by anyone or anything unless someone was dying. Actually, make that unless someone _damn important_ was dying. Yeah, that sounded more like it.

And the Fifth's apprentice had made him mind-curse more for the last minute than he had out loud for years and that was saying something because he'd seen his fair share of shitty, complicated missions during that time.

Finally, she mercifully spoke up and pulled him out of his misery. (So he had the gullibility to think at first.)

_And, oh, the downright imbecility that spilled forth from that pretty mouth of hers…_

* * *

She stretched her arms up as far as they went while still in bed, her limbs seeming much longer than they actually were in her doing so. Then she got up and did some morning warm ups to force the last remnants of sleep from her system.

Once those were over and done with, she pulled the blinds to her large windows. The brilliant early autumn sun greeted her just beyond the horizon, its warm orange rays stroking the still sleeping village of Konoha. She reached out and opened the windows as wide as they went, inviting in the lungful of clean oxygen-rich morning air.

When that task was complete, she went straight to her impeccably tidy bathroom where nothing was ever out of place. She stood upright before her sink and mirror above it, eyeing herself critically—and thereby taking quick stock of wrongs that should be righted—before beginning her morning grooming.

She took a quick shower to wash off the sweat that had broken over her creamy skin from the exercises and to freshen up for the upcoming day. That, and cold water was the most healthy way of closing pores.

Once out of the stall, her shiny white teeth were the first to be brushed and morning breath the first pest to be ridded of. Next came the face wash and cream applying. Those took her remarkably little time compared to any other young woman her age, every onlooker would be able to tell, and that was the result of good discipline—yet again something not anyone could boast with that the girl got the lion's share of.

She then quickly selected some garments of clothing to don for the day—her pick was quick, precise and with no time wasted on useless dithering.

Toiling right behind the dressing was the diligent hair brushing. She pulled her mesmerizing free-flowing mane of pure platinum into a perfect pony-tale with obviously practiced ease and once again studied her countenance in the mirror.

In front of her stood the perfectly primped up 'I'm-a-professional-shinobi-who-can-kick-your-ass-into-the-next-dimension-but-I-am-without-a-doubt-a-woman' Yamanaka Ino, ready for another ordinary day in Konoha.

* * *

He didn't even have the will-power or dignity to keep his jaw from slacking at what he had just heard.

This had to be the most retard plan in the history of retarded plans. And that was quite saying something because there were very few plans that he actually thought as worthwhile such.

No; in fact, calling what Sakura had just spilled out 'a plan' was insulting to all self-respecting plans and plan-makers. No; what she'd said was definitely no plan—it was just insanity.

_And to think that she fully expected him to be a part of it!_

Was Nara Shikamaru the only person who realized that there was no way in hell this would end well?

Let's lay it out once more so he'd make sure that there wasn't perhaps some keen sense in this that he had missed the first time.

What the medic had dubbed it was 'The Mint Drop Conspiracy'. That had been quite enough of a warning what lay ahead of the genius special Jounin. And he sensed trouble in it. Lots of trouble, too. Because anything called a conspiracy boded ill for all featured parties. Yet another reason for him not to want to have anything to do with this absurdity.

But anyway, the idea was this: Sakura had planned a grand party for Ino in the evening. However, the presents that everyone had paid for were yet to arrive and thus had come the great enlightenment to the pink-haired girl in that ungodly hour—why not make it a completely_surprising_ surprise party? It would be amusing to make Ino believe that no one remembered her birthday, she said. Just about she started thinking that the world is a horrible place to be, they would all come out and shout "Surprise! Happy birthday, Ino!" to their favourite blonde kunoichi and she would be more than happy to know that everyone had indeed remembered the date of her birth and had even gone out of their way to organize something so huge, just for her.

Of course, here Shikamaru couldn't stop himself from believing Sakura absolutely lacked brain function because if it wasn't so then she just didn't know a thing about her so-called best friend. For if there was one thing Shikamaru knew about his long-time teammate, it was that Ino _hated_ to be made to believe she was forgotten, if even for a fraction of a second. Call it vanity or fear of rejection or any other fancy label you might want to slap on it but it was just the way she was and you gradually grew used to her eccentric character.

For this reason, Shikamaru didn't think that lying to their friend all day would be a very good idea. Someone was definitely going to get seriously hurt if they acted on this idea of Sakura's and quite frankly he didn't want it to be him.

He had to admit that the emerald eyed medic had truly gone quite far to assure that she had fool-proofed her plan—she had gone to the Hokage and asked the elder woman not to appoint any of the former rookie eleven to any out of town missions today so they would all be around when the celebration started officially. He had no idea (and wasn't really sure if he wanted to know) what trick she might have used to convince the Fifth because Hell was more probable to freeze over before Tsunade-hime allowed the income in the village to lessen just because one of her employees had a birthday.

But the fact was a fact—they were all to pretend in front of Ino that they didn't know what day it was and, when she tried to pry anything from them, they would say that they had somewhere to go or work to do and get away as quick as possible before they spilled the beans.

However, there were some people who weren't part of the plan and others not present there that were, and sharing it with outsiders might compromise its success, Sakura had elaborated with all her insane drive. And so, to recognize those who were part of it from those who weren't, they were each given a package of mint drops that they were to offer Ino should she talk to them and they had to be carried somewhere where they could be seen so their co-conspirators would know 'friend from foe'.

The last part was the thing that most eluded Shikamaru's logic—what was the point of that exercise? Couldn't Sakura just tell them who was part of the plot and who wasn't? Or did she think that Jounin class shinobi on a break couldn't remember a few names? Names of people they surely knew, nonetheless. No, no, seriously, that girl was off her rocker. He just gave up and submitted to her will because if he didn't she would probably screech at him till he eventually_did_ give in so he might as well spare himself the headache.

This was going to be a long, long day…

Couldn't he just fast-forward to the next?

* * *

Ino sat on the table in her apartment's kitchen, grabbing a large grapefruit from the fruit bowl on the counter as she passed by it, quickly taking a plate and knife from the cupboard beforehand. As she sliced the citrus in two hemispheres, her azure gaze strayed to the calendar hanging on the wall in front of her out of habit.

And that's when she noticed it. The twenty-third of September. Her birthday. Her one special day when all was supposed to be done for her convenience, so she would remember the day with a grin when the years passed. The one day in the year when something special should happen, something extraordinary, to make it a worthwhile year to have lived.

The blonde sighed dreamily as she ate her modest breakfast, staring into a lovely future of being with her friends all day, talking, laughing, being together and having fun and kicking ass at work and finally buying herself that new washing machine that she had so diligently saved up for after her old one broke. (Washing everything by hand was a good exercise but otherwise a total waste of time and effort—she had so many other, better things to do with herself instead of slaving over housework and chores.)

And, oh, if she only knew how gravely mistaken she was when she thought that it would all go smooth and well…

* * *

The Nara looked around at the faces of the people gathered there besides him, absent-mindedly registering their reactions—some were quite ecstatic, others were much milder about their happiness with the occasion that had brought them all together and there were also those whose expressions he couldn't quite read because they appeared to be sleeping with their eyes open. What he had been looking _for_ in the crowd though he couldn't find even through his best efforts.

"Any questions?" Sakura's voice rang over the crowd and her grass-green eyes scanned the people. "Yes?"

"Where's Naruto?" asked Shikamaru, finally getting the chance to voice his puzzlement. The shadow that crossed Sakura's countenance only furthered it for the time being.

"Ah, yes, _him_…" the girl of the former Team Seven muttered disdainfully, a vein on her (rather vast) forehead pulsing into visibility. "Well, about him…"

* * *

Almost a world away, in the comfort of the warm bed covers, sprawled with his limbs pointing in every which way, laid the human carrier of the most fearsome tailed beast alive.

Said beast container's sound rest was interrupted only for a mere second when a stray ray of sunshine managed to penetrate the tightly drawn curtains of his apartment, causing him to snort, smack his lips several times and toss himself to his other side, fully intending to sleep in till the light became too bright to ignore any longer.

And even then he would get up with the greatest distaste in the world because a guy deserved his rest, damn it!

* * *

Shikamaru sweatdropped at the information that he had been served. So Naruto got the right to sleep in and be spared all this idiocy and he, the Nara son, the person who was practically allergic to retarded half-assed plans which were such in name only, did not?

True, Sakura had pointed out correctly that the blonde rascal wasn't the best person to trust with an "exciting secret plan" because of the great chance of him blabbing prematurely to the last person he should and thus ruining the surprise but that was just beside the point!

There definitely wasn't any justice in the world.

And the ominous feeling that he had had in the beginning, that this gathering and the purpose behind it spelled trouble, only intensified when the crowd, having mulled over well the received instructions and their brains having had the time to register it at last, cheered in agreement with it.

Oh, the horribly long and mentally challenging day that awaited him…

Why couldn't Fate just give him a break every now and then?

* * *

A/N: And _this_ is how far my creative genius would get me for two weeks, my dearest readers. I haven't been inactive just to spite you. Quite the contrary—I pushed on to get it at least THIS far BECAUSE I love you guys so much. But there's only so much one can achieve with will only. (sigh) My muse has fled me for the holidays but I hope it will come back as soon as school starts (tomorrow) and that next time the update would be more rewarding. I hope that you'll find it in your hearts to forgive this injustice of me.

Part one of Fourth Kiss complete. Expect more as soon as I can catch that pesky Muse bitch of mine. Till then!


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